Identity Fraud and Cultural Crisis?

When I was four years old, my mother read me a very popular English children's story. Apparently, I identified with the main character so much I decided I wanted to change my name to her name. For one month I refused to answer to my name, eventually my mother gave in and started using the name I liked, thinking that it was just a phase and that it wouldn't last. She was wrong, I was called this name throughout Primary School. When I changed schools at the age of ten, I decided it was time to finally revert to my name, it being more mature, I thought!

When I first became a Muslim, I was told that I had to change my name to a "Muslim" one. I had done my own reading however, and I knew that this wasn't the case. We are only required to change our name if it means something bad. Never a person to do things by halves however, I was drawn to the idea of changing my name, I wanted to do something special to celebrate becoming a Muslim. I WAS exploring a new identity, this didn't mean an erasure of my old self but it did mean a distancing from my old lifestyle. I already understood the power of a name change, the possibilities of it's psychological impact. When I said my Shahada, inshaAllah the excesses of my old life were forgiven. Tabula Rasa. I wanted to commemorate this new beginning. I chose the name of a very strong woman and hoped that it would be an inspiration for me to live up to her example. It is not an Arabic name, but it is definitely 'Muslim'.

I was reading Al-Marayas recent post at http://bidayahwanihayah.blogspot.com/// where she discusses how many western converts to Islam who have married Arab men adopt many things from Arab culture, often not distinguishing between culture and religion. As a convert who on the surface appears to have done some of these things, I feel the need to respond as it is not always as superficial or ignorant as it seems.

I have always been interested in cultures other than my own. For my eighth birthday I asked my mother to buy me a kimono and take me to a Japanese restaraunt. I didn't get the kimono but we did go out to the restaurant and I still remember my horror when I found out that the dish I ordered contained raw egg! In a recent post I mocked this fascination with the 'other' that I have because I realise that there is much more to understanding a culture than appropriating it's dress or sampling it's cuisine. That being said, what is wrong with experimenting with things from outside your own cultural perspective? As long as you realise that that is what you are doing and you don't see yourself as some kind of Laurence of Arabia, then what is the problem?

Perhaps ignorance. From converts and their in-laws alike. I recently bit my brother-in-laws head off because he told me it is haram to take my three week old son outside..I was fed up because it was just the last of a list of 'harams' that I had been instructed about from various people. My anger was partly due to my misunderstanding of their use of the word 'haram' and partly because I'm tired of how ethnocentric they are. Apparently, neither my son or myself are supposed to leave the house for forty days after the birth. I said that as far as I knew this was culture and not Islam and he just looked at me blankly. The expectation is that I should adopt the practice regardless simply because I am married to an Arab man. I think the problem here is that they are so patriarchal that it is inconceivable to them that a woman might actually have an identity of her own that she is quite happy to keep. And perhaps some women don't realise this themselves because they are so ready to please their Arabian princes!

I am Australian, dressing in Abayat and cooking kibbeh is not going to make me Lebanese nor is it going to make me a better Muslim. But I think that as long as I acknowledge these facts then it is fine to do so. I wear Abayat sometimes because they are comfortable and practical. I make kibbeh and mehshi (albeit very badly!) because I love my husband and he loves the food of his country. But we also eat Indian, Indonesian, Japanese(but no raw egg!), we don't eat much English food. Why? Because it is bland and boring and I have never liked it very much. Should I start eating it now because I have to adhere to my Australian Muslim identity? I do think that you make a lot of valid points in your post, Al-Maraya, so please don't think that my sarcasm is directed at you.

Here in Australia, there seem to be two camps, those who are out to prove their Australian-ness and how it is compatible with Islam and those who have a very literal interpretation of the religion and therefore have trouble distinguishing between the culture of seventh century Arabia and Islam. Personally, I think that both are too rigid in their approach. One of the things that I love about Australia is it's multicultural-ness. I understand Islam as being open to culture as long as it doesn't transgress Islamic principles. This includes dress. This is of course the argument for wearing Western dress and it is one that I agree with in part, but does being a Westerner mean that you can only wear Western clothes? Does it really matter if one day I wear a suit and the next I wear a Jalabiyyah?

I agree with much of what you have said in your post, but I just wanted to point out that whilst Khadija (once Katherine) may ignorantly adopt her husbands culture mistaking it for Islam, Aisha (once Agnes) may simply be taking bits of Arab culture that she likes and enjoying them for a while. Dawah is important but do we have to continually prove ourselves as being both 'oh so western and oh so muslim'?! Does the political climate that we are living in mean that we have to streamline ourselves into being the perfect Western Muslims? This is not what you are suggesting in your post, I know, but it is the impression I get from many Muslims here. The irony is that if I were to adopt mainstream Aussie culture now, it really would be a case of identity fraud because as I said on another post, I have never been a 'chuck another prawn on the barbie' kind of woman...gimme the kafta any day!