When I think about how patronizing I used to be about people saying that their religious experiences provided them with "peace", I am ashamed. I was so skeptical, I was sure that this "peace" was just psychological. In a way I envied these people because their religion was able to provide them with a means of finding tranquility. But I thought that really it was self-deception. Amongst my circle of friends religion was something to condemn or laugh about, I could never imagine taking it seriously. Born again Christians were a particular target of our mirth. We had such arrogance, we were so sure that our understanding of life was the correct way of thinking. But in reality we understood nothing. Most of us had a great emptiness inside of us which we tried to fill through intellectual pursuits or just plain hedonism. Amongst that group of people, to suggest that spirituality might have a central role to play in life would be like suggesting that we get the plague voluntarily, it was just not something a "thinking" person did.It's not surprising therefore that most of my friendships from this time did not withstand my conversion to Islam. I moved from having friends who never thought about God, to having friends who placed religion at the center of their lives. Now I'm so used to taking for granted that someone knows what I'm talking about when I refer to feeling close to Allah, feeling His Mercy and the peace that comes with it, that I no longer know how to explain such things to a non-believer. I remember my own cynicism. How do you explain that the "peace" that accompanies religious experience comes from Outside? How do you explain that you simply "know" this?
In the days following my conversion a non-believing friend made a short film about my decision to enter Islam. She filmed me as I prayed. I so much wanted her to understand the intensity of the prayer, that I made du'a that Allah open her heart. When I finished she appeared quite overwhelmed. She had "felt" something, but she quickly rationalized things by understanding it as an intensity caused by religious devotion. She compared it to visiting churches in Italy. Nothing could convince her that it was more than the effect of extremely focused concentration.
To believe is an act of the will, we have to choose to believe. Allah gifts us with experiences during which He draws us close to him, but ultimately it is up to us to decide what to make of them. I "know" that the peace that comes with Islam is not a construction of my own mind. To become a Muslim is the most transformingly wonderful experience, one that I do not have the power to create for myself.
4 comments:
SubhanAllah, perfect. I was the same and we always ridiculed the "religious kids" and tried to fill the feelings of emptiness with intellectual humanism and hedonism. I never thought I would be the one to find the peace and tranquility that comes from recognizing and submitting to our Creator.
And I find it difficult to express just how much I gained from accepting Islam. People that knew me before think I gave up something, but in reality whatever I gave up is so minor and insignificant to what I have gained.
salams Muslim Apple
Ten years ago, it was the last thing imaginable that i would become religious let alone choose Islam out of all the religions. It makes me realise that anything is possible. We can never imagine what is going to happen to us in the future
very nice. I often think about how non-muslims do not really understand sakina.
Welcome Shazia! I think probably other people of faith understand it, I have seen it in the faces of catholics, quakers and even Buddhist monks! But i often wonder if it's only a gift from Allah for this world, especially the monks since they deny Allah. I'm not sure how to look at Buddhists, are they atheists? I don't think that Sakina can be understood by non-spiritual people and personally I think true sakina only belongs to Islam, but that's very presumptuous of me!
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